Sunday, December 26, 2010

Resolution time? Again? Ugh.

Yup, it’s that time of year. All the hustle and bustle of the Holidays has passed and we're all left with this... vacuum. For weeks you've been running around: buying this and planning that, shipping this and decorating that. Now what? To fill the void left in these last few days of the calendar year, our minds turn to thoughts of what didn't get done rather than celebrating those things we did accomplish. In this spirit, I offer these lists:

Things I accomplished this year:
1. Started my own website (have YOU visited it yet?)
2. Officially became a professional writer (I wrote + I got paid = pro)
3. Shook off the fear and submitted short stories to literary magazines

Things I could not have accomplished this year without the generosity of others:
1. gotten the kids outfitted for school & Christmas
2. stayed in the Garden choir
3. kept the house out of foreclosure

Things I keep saying I will do but haven't yet:
1. Forego Christmas Cards and send New Year's cards. No religious affiliations to worry about!
2. Finish that novel. Any novel.
3. Stop fearing the fallout and tell certain people how I really feel.

Now, the rest of you: make your lists. Pat yourself on the back a little, kick yourself in the ass a little. Make. Your. Lists.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Life as I know it

Gloom, despair, and agony on me. Deep dark depression, excessive misery.

Is that copyrighted? Probably. No harm intended! Don't sue me. I don't have jack so it would be for naught. Literally.

Anyhoo.... here I am "celebrating" the one year anniversary of losing my job. God, this blows. In all my working life I have never been out of work for more than a couple-three weeks. It is freaking depressing as hell! I have sent out umpteen resumes, applied for at least a couple hundred jobs, attended job fairs, cold called, asked for referrals. Ugh! I have had maybe half a dozen interviews and zero offers. When I follow up, I get no response. Having endured countless unreturned phone calls and unacknowledged e-mails, I don't what I'm supposed to do.

I went all summer with no unemployment benefits. Thanks to Nebraska Senator Ben Nelson, my extension of benefits was stalled when Congress voted to not give a shit about the unemployed. We nearly lost our house. I was about a week away from getting my car repo'd. We had to scrape, beg, and borrow to keep a roof over our head. It was a delightful experience, let me tell ya. Got my benefits reinstated in September but now there is more talk of Congress giving the thumbs down to continued benefits. This morning? Nothing in my bank account to indicate that I've received my direct deposit this week. Merry Christmas!

But, before I shift completely into FML mode, I do have one idea. One possible, albeit challenging, saving grace.

I have been doing a bit of freelance writing, ghosting writing web content. It (literally) pays pennies per word but...maybe, just maybe, I can write enough to earn a living. I will have to punch out about 10 articles a day in order to make the equivalent of what I am drawing from unemployment. But, if I super glue my nose to the grindstone it might (aka might) be possible.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not afraid of hard work. What am I afraid of? Failure. Homelessness. Having to send my kids to live with relatives because I can't keep a roof over their head.

So. Not really much to think about, is there? Just time to get to work.