Tuesday, March 9, 2010

The verdict is... you're a douche.

Since I'm home during daylight hours of late, I have been watching a lot of those "court" shows. You know, People's Court, Judge Judy, et al. They are educational. For example, I have learned to always get things in writing, and to not look for roommates on Craigslist. Today I saw a defense so unique and original that I just can't keep it's awesomeness to myself.
It was another one of those "your pit bull attacked my dog" cases. This one was not as tragic as some. Victim Doggie survived the attack and is pretty much fine now (often not the case). The plaintiff made her case, and the judge turned to the defendant to give the man a chance to explain why he is not responsible for Victim Doggie's medical bills. His defense was multi layered consisting of the following elements:

1) I've never seen this woman before.

2) What was she doing there on this particular day and time?

3) The fact that, when I arrived on the scene, my wife told me that our dog attacked Victim Doggie and then ran off is irrelevant.
4) Her dog looked okay to me.

Lack of veterinary skills aside, apparently in this gentleman's mind, "I don't know you" is a viable option when defending yourself against a lawsuit. It was hilarious. The guy was so belligerent that he actually got a contempt of court fine tacked on to the damages when he (SPOILER ALERT) lost the case.
See? Educational!

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